Hi Everyone,
It’s been a long time and it’s no one’s fault but my own. I lost interest in a lot of things in the past few years. Honestly been in kind of a downward spiral for a while now. And it’s time to pull myself out.
So - Numb is the word I would describe myself right now. I’ve realized that I have stopped doing everything that I like, and it needs to stop. I want to get back into my favorite things, Reading, Writing, anime and manga. I need to plainly start living a better life style… Eating better, Working out and being more organized. I need to start being motivated and happy again.
My goals for the next few months are:
To get my life in a little better “order” for lack of a better word. To get my room cleaned, organized and to FINALLY buy/make my new bed to have a better sleeping and living environment. I have asked my dad to help me with a new “project”… to create a new bed frame. One that has a lot more storage so I can create more space in my room.
To apply for some online courses, I’ve been saying that I was going to go back to school for… Well for basically 5 years now... since I graduated high school. Now yes I know I did go to culinary school but I just mean specifically college to learn new subjects. After graduating culinary school I applied for college and they didn’t accept me because my high school grades weren't great and because they didn’t consider my culinary school years as a real school and the grades wouldn't push up my marks. So after that I was discouraged and never applied again… I need to step up again and apply for courses that interest me. I will hopefully be buying a new laptop very soon so it can help me more with my studies.
To get in better shape. The typical “new year’s resolution”. I’ve been trying to get in shape for a few months now but I keep getting off track and unmotivated. I can’t do that anymore… I need to start slow and gradually bring things into my daily “habits” ( Or start due to my lack of habits). Build up to my goal of a healthy life style and working out every (or almost… got to have a rest day every once in a while) day. Going to start with my eating habits... although they aren’t that bad right now. I do need to minimize my emotional eating which is what brings me down the most. And I also want to incorporate walking into my everyday life (hopefully that continues into winter... hate living in Canada sometimes :P) and then integrate workouts into my life.
And last major goal is to start doing things I enjoy again. Like I mention above I want to start reading more again. Start writing and drawing too. Anything! I need to find new interests. Find myself again. I have stopped doing the things I love so I can “fit” in with my friend’s life style. Don’t get me wrong I love my friends and I never needed to change myself for them… it just kind of happened. I need to be me again. I need to find myself. I need to be more open and happy. Need to be free.
I need to get out of my comfort zone, out of this bubble. My life is just eating, going to work and sleeping. That is not healthy.
I’m starting this blog again in hopes that it will remind me of my goals, remind me of the things I want to achieve. To help bring me back to who I was before I became numb to everything… before my laughs became forced and fake. To where I am alive again.
Anyways on a brighter side… there are a few exciting things happening in the next few months. I’ll talk more about that when I have more information. But for now this post is done. My somewhat rants are over.
Now I must get back to work, Talk to you later.
~ Cassidy~
It’s been a long time and it’s no one’s fault but my own. I lost interest in a lot of things in the past few years. Honestly been in kind of a downward spiral for a while now. And it’s time to pull myself out.
So - Numb is the word I would describe myself right now. I’ve realized that I have stopped doing everything that I like, and it needs to stop. I want to get back into my favorite things, Reading, Writing, anime and manga. I need to plainly start living a better life style… Eating better, Working out and being more organized. I need to start being motivated and happy again.
My goals for the next few months are:
To get my life in a little better “order” for lack of a better word. To get my room cleaned, organized and to FINALLY buy/make my new bed to have a better sleeping and living environment. I have asked my dad to help me with a new “project”… to create a new bed frame. One that has a lot more storage so I can create more space in my room.
To apply for some online courses, I’ve been saying that I was going to go back to school for… Well for basically 5 years now... since I graduated high school. Now yes I know I did go to culinary school but I just mean specifically college to learn new subjects. After graduating culinary school I applied for college and they didn’t accept me because my high school grades weren't great and because they didn’t consider my culinary school years as a real school and the grades wouldn't push up my marks. So after that I was discouraged and never applied again… I need to step up again and apply for courses that interest me. I will hopefully be buying a new laptop very soon so it can help me more with my studies.
To get in better shape. The typical “new year’s resolution”. I’ve been trying to get in shape for a few months now but I keep getting off track and unmotivated. I can’t do that anymore… I need to start slow and gradually bring things into my daily “habits” ( Or start due to my lack of habits). Build up to my goal of a healthy life style and working out every (or almost… got to have a rest day every once in a while) day. Going to start with my eating habits... although they aren’t that bad right now. I do need to minimize my emotional eating which is what brings me down the most. And I also want to incorporate walking into my everyday life (hopefully that continues into winter... hate living in Canada sometimes :P) and then integrate workouts into my life.
And last major goal is to start doing things I enjoy again. Like I mention above I want to start reading more again. Start writing and drawing too. Anything! I need to find new interests. Find myself again. I have stopped doing the things I love so I can “fit” in with my friend’s life style. Don’t get me wrong I love my friends and I never needed to change myself for them… it just kind of happened. I need to be me again. I need to find myself. I need to be more open and happy. Need to be free.
I need to get out of my comfort zone, out of this bubble. My life is just eating, going to work and sleeping. That is not healthy.
I’m starting this blog again in hopes that it will remind me of my goals, remind me of the things I want to achieve. To help bring me back to who I was before I became numb to everything… before my laughs became forced and fake. To where I am alive again.
Anyways on a brighter side… there are a few exciting things happening in the next few months. I’ll talk more about that when I have more information. But for now this post is done. My somewhat rants are over.
Now I must get back to work, Talk to you later.
~ Cassidy~
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