Look I'm doing it!

Hey look! I’m posing more than once in a year! Go me!
How’s everyone been doing?

My first post back was just about my goals and where is want to be in basically a year from now. This one however will just be me explaining where I am at this point in my life… to fill in some of the blanks since 2014.

Shortly after I posted my last post I was offered a “full” time job and I took it but since I was still working at the restaurant on Fridays I had to ask to cut my hours down a little. I had a three month trial. I was working about 50 – 60 hours a week. It was kind of crazy for me. To be honest I think that’s where I started to go “downhill” as I put it. I had basically no free time and my friends were on a difference schedule or in a different province.

And then an old friends and boyfriend came back into my life. He had just broken up with his girlfriend (the one he cheated with and left me for I might add) and he wanted me back (didn’t think that’s what I was going to say right?… Note the sarcasm) I knew he was just rebounding and I even told him that but I wanted his friendship back so I let him be flirty. No surprise I let him back in again… bad choice. He hurt me again... hurt me more than our break up did. He got me to care about and then threw our friendship away. I knew he would go back to her but I thought he would at least stay friends with me.  It’s been over a year since I last saw him. His goodbye was a kiss on the cheek and then he left, haven’t seen or heard from or about him in over a year. I will always be sad about this, I miss his friendship.
But “life” went on. I ended up quitting my restaurant job to work full time here (the office job), I am now a shipping coordinator. And I became numb and angry at everything(weird combo right?).  My life was working and eating, I wasn’t happy. And that brings me here.

I started to “wake up” the past few months, partly because of a guy. I’ve been seeing my best friend’s brother for about 4 months now. He made me realize that I missed going out sometimes. I missed having a passion and goals. Things aren’t going well with him though. He doesn’t want a commitment and that’s fine but you can’t tell someone you still want to date but not actually see them. He wants to someone to have his crazy life style. And by life style I mean exercise habits. I will never be as crazy as him, it’s just not possible for me. He also doesn’t want to talk to me about those issues and problems he sees. I only know because my best friend told me. My “hope” for this relationship isn’t high.

So for now I’m just working on myself. If he comes around then we will see what happens. All my goals and wanting a new healthy life style isn’t for him (though he is worried about that and believes i'm doing this only for him) it’s only for me. That’s the only way to do things, you have to do it for yourself and keep motivated.

On a side note, I have a few baby showers to go too it’s very exciting. At the end of this month I will have gone to 3 baby showers in under a year. They are all having or had boys. I have 3 unofficial nephews.  It makes me so happy. I now have to buy gifts for all these little boys in my life.

That’s all for now, I’ll keep you all posted on new things in my life. Hopefully my next post will have some updates on my goals.

~ Cassidy ~