Hey
look! I’m posing more than once in a year! Go me!
How’s everyone been doing?
My first post back was just about my goals and where is want to be in basically
a year from now. This one however will just be me explaining where I am at this
point in my life… to fill in some of the blanks since 2014.
Shortly after I posted my last post I was offered a “full” time job and I took
it but since I was still working at the restaurant on Fridays I had to ask to
cut my hours down a little. I had a three month trial. I was working about 50 –
60 hours a week. It was kind of crazy for me. To be honest I think that’s where
I started to go “downhill” as I put it. I had basically no free time and my
friends were on a difference schedule or in a different province.
And then an old friends and boyfriend came back into my life. He had just
broken up with his girlfriend (the one he cheated with and left me for I might
add) and he wanted me back (didn’t think that’s what I was going to say right?…
Note the sarcasm) I knew he was just rebounding and I even told him that but I wanted
his friendship back so I let him be flirty. No surprise I let him back in again…
bad choice. He hurt me again... hurt me more than our break up did. He got me
to care about and then threw our friendship away. I knew he would go back to
her but I thought he would at least stay friends with me. It’s been over a year since I last saw him.
His goodbye was a kiss on the cheek and then he left, haven’t seen or heard
from or about him in over a year. I will always be sad about this, I miss his
friendship.
But “life” went on. I ended up quitting my restaurant job to work full time
here (the office job), I am now a shipping coordinator. And I became numb and angry at everything(weird combo right?). My life
was working and eating, I wasn’t happy. And that brings me here.
I started to “wake up” the past few months, partly because of a guy. I’ve been
seeing my best friend’s brother for about 4 months now. He made me realize that
I missed going out sometimes. I missed having a passion and goals. Things aren’t
going well with him though. He doesn’t want a commitment and that’s fine but
you can’t tell someone you still want to date but not actually see them. He
wants to someone to have his crazy life style. And by life style I mean exercise
habits. I will never be as crazy as him, it’s just not possible for me. He also
doesn’t want to talk to me about those issues and problems he sees. I only know
because my best friend told me. My “hope” for this relationship isn’t high.
So for now I’m just working on myself. If he comes around then we will see what
happens. All my goals and wanting a new healthy life style isn’t for him (though
he is worried about that and believes i'm doing this only for him) it’s only for me. That’s the only way to do things,
you have to do it for yourself and keep motivated.
On a side note, I have a few baby showers to go too it’s very exciting. At the end of this month I will
have gone to 3 baby showers in under a year. They are all having or had boys. I
have 3 unofficial nephews. It makes me so
happy. I now have to buy gifts for all these little boys in my life.
That’s all for now, I’ll keep you all posted on new things in my life.
Hopefully my next post will have some updates on my goals.
~ Cassidy ~
Friday, September 23, 2016
Monday, September 19, 2016
And It Begins... Again :P
Hi Everyone,
It’s been a long time and it’s no one’s fault but my own. I lost interest in a lot of things in the past few years. Honestly been in kind of a downward spiral for a while now. And it’s time to pull myself out.
So - Numb is the word I would describe myself right now. I’ve realized that I have stopped doing everything that I like, and it needs to stop. I want to get back into my favorite things, Reading, Writing, anime and manga. I need to plainly start living a better life style… Eating better, Working out and being more organized. I need to start being motivated and happy again.
My goals for the next few months are:
To get my life in a little better “order” for lack of a better word. To get my room cleaned, organized and to FINALLY buy/make my new bed to have a better sleeping and living environment. I have asked my dad to help me with a new “project”… to create a new bed frame. One that has a lot more storage so I can create more space in my room.
To apply for some online courses, I’ve been saying that I was going to go back to school for… Well for basically 5 years now... since I graduated high school. Now yes I know I did go to culinary school but I just mean specifically college to learn new subjects. After graduating culinary school I applied for college and they didn’t accept me because my high school grades weren't great and because they didn’t consider my culinary school years as a real school and the grades wouldn't push up my marks. So after that I was discouraged and never applied again… I need to step up again and apply for courses that interest me. I will hopefully be buying a new laptop very soon so it can help me more with my studies.
To get in better shape. The typical “new year’s resolution”. I’ve been trying to get in shape for a few months now but I keep getting off track and unmotivated. I can’t do that anymore… I need to start slow and gradually bring things into my daily “habits” ( Or start due to my lack of habits). Build up to my goal of a healthy life style and working out every (or almost… got to have a rest day every once in a while) day. Going to start with my eating habits... although they aren’t that bad right now. I do need to minimize my emotional eating which is what brings me down the most. And I also want to incorporate walking into my everyday life (hopefully that continues into winter... hate living in Canada sometimes :P) and then integrate workouts into my life.
And last major goal is to start doing things I enjoy again. Like I mention above I want to start reading more again. Start writing and drawing too. Anything! I need to find new interests. Find myself again. I have stopped doing the things I love so I can “fit” in with my friend’s life style. Don’t get me wrong I love my friends and I never needed to change myself for them… it just kind of happened. I need to be me again. I need to find myself. I need to be more open and happy. Need to be free.
I need to get out of my comfort zone, out of this bubble. My life is just eating, going to work and sleeping. That is not healthy.
I’m starting this blog again in hopes that it will remind me of my goals, remind me of the things I want to achieve. To help bring me back to who I was before I became numb to everything… before my laughs became forced and fake. To where I am alive again.
Anyways on a brighter side… there are a few exciting things happening in the next few months. I’ll talk more about that when I have more information. But for now this post is done. My somewhat rants are over.
Now I must get back to work, Talk to you later.
~ Cassidy~
It’s been a long time and it’s no one’s fault but my own. I lost interest in a lot of things in the past few years. Honestly been in kind of a downward spiral for a while now. And it’s time to pull myself out.
So - Numb is the word I would describe myself right now. I’ve realized that I have stopped doing everything that I like, and it needs to stop. I want to get back into my favorite things, Reading, Writing, anime and manga. I need to plainly start living a better life style… Eating better, Working out and being more organized. I need to start being motivated and happy again.
My goals for the next few months are:
To get my life in a little better “order” for lack of a better word. To get my room cleaned, organized and to FINALLY buy/make my new bed to have a better sleeping and living environment. I have asked my dad to help me with a new “project”… to create a new bed frame. One that has a lot more storage so I can create more space in my room.
To apply for some online courses, I’ve been saying that I was going to go back to school for… Well for basically 5 years now... since I graduated high school. Now yes I know I did go to culinary school but I just mean specifically college to learn new subjects. After graduating culinary school I applied for college and they didn’t accept me because my high school grades weren't great and because they didn’t consider my culinary school years as a real school and the grades wouldn't push up my marks. So after that I was discouraged and never applied again… I need to step up again and apply for courses that interest me. I will hopefully be buying a new laptop very soon so it can help me more with my studies.
To get in better shape. The typical “new year’s resolution”. I’ve been trying to get in shape for a few months now but I keep getting off track and unmotivated. I can’t do that anymore… I need to start slow and gradually bring things into my daily “habits” ( Or start due to my lack of habits). Build up to my goal of a healthy life style and working out every (or almost… got to have a rest day every once in a while) day. Going to start with my eating habits... although they aren’t that bad right now. I do need to minimize my emotional eating which is what brings me down the most. And I also want to incorporate walking into my everyday life (hopefully that continues into winter... hate living in Canada sometimes :P) and then integrate workouts into my life.
And last major goal is to start doing things I enjoy again. Like I mention above I want to start reading more again. Start writing and drawing too. Anything! I need to find new interests. Find myself again. I have stopped doing the things I love so I can “fit” in with my friend’s life style. Don’t get me wrong I love my friends and I never needed to change myself for them… it just kind of happened. I need to be me again. I need to find myself. I need to be more open and happy. Need to be free.
I need to get out of my comfort zone, out of this bubble. My life is just eating, going to work and sleeping. That is not healthy.
I’m starting this blog again in hopes that it will remind me of my goals, remind me of the things I want to achieve. To help bring me back to who I was before I became numb to everything… before my laughs became forced and fake. To where I am alive again.
Anyways on a brighter side… there are a few exciting things happening in the next few months. I’ll talk more about that when I have more information. But for now this post is done. My somewhat rants are over.
Now I must get back to work, Talk to you later.
~ Cassidy~
Tuesday, September 2, 2014
I Suck :(
Its been over 2 years since I started this blog, and I've only wrote on here 7 times well now 8 times... I should never quit my day job.
Once again I am sorry for leaving and not writing for a while, there are no excuses.
Heres my little update
Since April, I have had my graduation ceremony , have died my hair, gotten my ears pierced and have gotten a tattoo, Yess I know that's a very controversial subject.
I was also planning on moving to Italy for a couple months to study and work, however those plans have been put on hold for a little while, I was informed that I could not work unless I had a special visa which I can only apply for once in my life, and I don't want to use that when I am so young.
And my next step in life is to move out of my province. and live closer to some friends and a better work/school area for me. it takes a lot to plan a move and even more work to plan a move out of your province. I need to apply at jobs, look into apartments , and make sure I have the money to live. and also apply to school .
I need a new fresh start, a somewhat new identity. I have quite a few friends in the area I plan to move but that doesn't mean I cant start over. So I am hoping this will help .
And on the topic of a fresh start. This may sound stupid, considering I am trying to save up money for my move next year.. But I will be going shopping for a new wardrobe on Thursday :) and I am actually excited . Shopping isn't normally my kind of enjoyment.
Enough talk about shopping and moves. I think I a done with my rant for today.. Hopefully I write come back to write again soon.
Byee for now
Love
~Cassidy~
Once again I am sorry for leaving and not writing for a while, there are no excuses.
Heres my little update
Since April, I have had my graduation ceremony , have died my hair, gotten my ears pierced and have gotten a tattoo, Yess I know that's a very controversial subject.
I was also planning on moving to Italy for a couple months to study and work, however those plans have been put on hold for a little while, I was informed that I could not work unless I had a special visa which I can only apply for once in my life, and I don't want to use that when I am so young.
And my next step in life is to move out of my province. and live closer to some friends and a better work/school area for me. it takes a lot to plan a move and even more work to plan a move out of your province. I need to apply at jobs, look into apartments , and make sure I have the money to live. and also apply to school .
I need a new fresh start, a somewhat new identity. I have quite a few friends in the area I plan to move but that doesn't mean I cant start over. So I am hoping this will help .
And on the topic of a fresh start. This may sound stupid, considering I am trying to save up money for my move next year.. But I will be going shopping for a new wardrobe on Thursday :) and I am actually excited . Shopping isn't normally my kind of enjoyment.
Enough talk about shopping and moves. I think I a done with my rant for today.. Hopefully I write come back to write again soon.
Byee for now
Love
~Cassidy~
Sunday, April 20, 2014
Blogging... Ohh how i've missed you.
Hello My loves .
I know I know, I said I would try to write on here more often and I didn't.
I am soo sorry , I could make excuses like I forgot my email ( which I actually did, Opps) but it would still be my own fault. Sooo once again I am soo sorrryy!
A lot has happened and changed since my last update, Soo let me tell you what has happened :)
I finished my first stage in August of 2013 , it was my "high volume" stage (a.k.a catering or a big hotel restaurant) I did mine at a food delivery service and they offer me a job when I finished school . The only downside to that (well 2 downsides) was, it was about an hour away from my house and I start at 6 am .Soo lets just say that was a long and tiring summer.
And then in November of the same year I start my second stage , Which was a normal restaurant one. It took me a couple months to finish that one. Started in November 2013 and finished January 2014. Andd they also offered me a job. And I took it , Yay !
Also I graduated!. My ceremony is in May ! I am soo excited and cant wait too see all my friends together in one place!
Now its a start of my next chapter in life... which leads to my next big exciting news.
In a little less then a year from now I will be in Italy!
and not just for a vacation .. I plan on studying abroad for 3 months. I should be taking an Italian and cooking course, I am soo excited and nervous about this .
its a giant step for me.
My first move will be out of my own continent. I can not wait ! Then again I kinda can.
After the 3 months are over and I've come back home, I will once again be moving (around July of 2015)to somewhere closer to my home town but still in another province , With my Best Friend and "Wife"
Soo far that's the only big news I have to share with ..whoever reads this.
I will try to write on here more often
Well I should get going, I have a Skype "date" with a friend to watch FairyTail XD
Byee!
~Love Cassidy
P.s Sorry about all the repeated words , Kinda tired Don't hate me <3
P.S.S HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE
I know I know, I said I would try to write on here more often and I didn't.
I am soo sorry , I could make excuses like I forgot my email ( which I actually did, Opps) but it would still be my own fault. Sooo once again I am soo sorrryy!
A lot has happened and changed since my last update, Soo let me tell you what has happened :)
I finished my first stage in August of 2013 , it was my "high volume" stage (a.k.a catering or a big hotel restaurant) I did mine at a food delivery service and they offer me a job when I finished school . The only downside to that (well 2 downsides) was, it was about an hour away from my house and I start at 6 am .Soo lets just say that was a long and tiring summer.
And then in November of the same year I start my second stage , Which was a normal restaurant one. It took me a couple months to finish that one. Started in November 2013 and finished January 2014. Andd they also offered me a job. And I took it , Yay !
Also I graduated!. My ceremony is in May ! I am soo excited and cant wait too see all my friends together in one place!
Now its a start of my next chapter in life... which leads to my next big exciting news.
In a little less then a year from now I will be in Italy!
and not just for a vacation .. I plan on studying abroad for 3 months. I should be taking an Italian and cooking course, I am soo excited and nervous about this .
its a giant step for me.
My first move will be out of my own continent. I can not wait ! Then again I kinda can.
After the 3 months are over and I've come back home, I will once again be moving (around July of 2015)to somewhere closer to my home town but still in another province , With my Best Friend and "Wife"
Soo far that's the only big news I have to share with ..whoever reads this.
I will try to write on here more often
Well I should get going, I have a Skype "date" with a friend to watch FairyTail XD
Byee!
~Love Cassidy
P.s Sorry about all the repeated words , Kinda tired Don't hate me <3
P.S.S HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE
Friday, January 4, 2013
Long Time No Post
So Its been around 5 months since my last post and im sorry for forgetting about you. Ive been kind of busy with school and trying to keep up a life with my friends. It hard to make time for people when were on completely different schedules.
So we all know that im in a new school And that i was so scared about going there. But i honsetly had no right to be so scared. The people in my class are so nice and i love them all.. well not all but most of them.And in the first week i found people who are in the same situation as me... They dont know if this is what they actually have to be when the graduate. and that there there mainly to learn to cook better.
Now its a year year and i hope this will be better for my school life and my scoial life.
I want to make myself a better person in all aspects of my life. and you guys are included. I want to post more on this blog. and not only things about my school. i want to post things about everything. Relationships.... if that ever happens... work.. friends trip. And maybe all my first experiences.
This year will be better. im nothing to make it a better one.
Im also thinking about making a new segment to this blog.. A weight loss journal. Im not sure if it will work or how to incorporate this into this blog but i still want to try. And maybe it might inspire someone who reads it... even though i know no one reads this blog.
I hope you guys had an amazing new years and i wish you all the best for this year.
~Cassidy
So we all know that im in a new school And that i was so scared about going there. But i honsetly had no right to be so scared. The people in my class are so nice and i love them all.. well not all but most of them.And in the first week i found people who are in the same situation as me... They dont know if this is what they actually have to be when the graduate. and that there there mainly to learn to cook better.
Now its a year year and i hope this will be better for my school life and my scoial life.
I want to make myself a better person in all aspects of my life. and you guys are included. I want to post more on this blog. and not only things about my school. i want to post things about everything. Relationships.... if that ever happens... work.. friends trip. And maybe all my first experiences.
This year will be better. im nothing to make it a better one.
Im also thinking about making a new segment to this blog.. A weight loss journal. Im not sure if it will work or how to incorporate this into this blog but i still want to try. And maybe it might inspire someone who reads it... even though i know no one reads this blog.
I hope you guys had an amazing new years and i wish you all the best for this year.
~Cassidy
Monday, August 13, 2012
Expectations...
Yes i graduated but does that mean i need to know what i want to do with my life? I dont think so.. but everybody else thinks i do. Where i live we graduate high school at the age of 17. Its been a year since then but still... im only 18 i have my whole life ahead of me.
I dont know what i want to be when im older .. and i dont know what im looking for in a guy i just plainly dont know what im doing at this point in my life and im kinda okay with that for now..I know eventually i will find my "calling" and people need to stop trying to force me to find my path now. For now i just need to try to try new things.
Im not the type of girl who goes out on a whim and does something. I honestly dont think ill ever be that way .And i also dont think ill be that person who wants to settle down before i even live my life. I know people who want to be like that. And They all look at me like i should be finding a guy to be with. But honestly how am i supose to do that? i dont know what im actually interested in. I dont even know who i am.
Ive dated and wanted to be with people but they never really worked out in my mind im kinda not ready for that kind of umm distraction? in my life.
Im just tired of all these expectations . Im tired of what people think i should live my life.Im only 18 .When im ready ill find the guy but thats only gonna be after get my life in order. First step is to get my first day of culinary school over with and then maybe after those 15 months i might go college then hopfully i can get somewhere in life.
I said alot of "even" in this blog. Anyways time to start finding my own life
Goodnight :)
~Cassidy Night
I dont know what i want to be when im older .. and i dont know what im looking for in a guy i just plainly dont know what im doing at this point in my life and im kinda okay with that for now..I know eventually i will find my "calling" and people need to stop trying to force me to find my path now. For now i just need to try to try new things.
Im not the type of girl who goes out on a whim and does something. I honestly dont think ill ever be that way .And i also dont think ill be that person who wants to settle down before i even live my life. I know people who want to be like that. And They all look at me like i should be finding a guy to be with. But honestly how am i supose to do that? i dont know what im actually interested in. I dont even know who i am.
Ive dated and wanted to be with people but they never really worked out in my mind im kinda not ready for that kind of umm distraction? in my life.
Im just tired of all these expectations . Im tired of what people think i should live my life.Im only 18 .When im ready ill find the guy but thats only gonna be after get my life in order. First step is to get my first day of culinary school over with and then maybe after those 15 months i might go college then hopfully i can get somewhere in life.
I said alot of "even" in this blog. Anyways time to start finding my own life
Goodnight :)
~Cassidy Night
Friday, August 10, 2012
2 Weeks and 4 Days
I should really start to write about other things other then my stress about going to school but the problem is i cant think about anything else . thats the only thing thats constant in my head...Maybe when i actually start school other things will pop into my head but for now im stuck with only talking about school.....
I hope my first day goes well.
Gosh i have alot of things to do before i got to school... I have driving lessons to finish, i have cleaning to do (my room= total mess) and i still have to get my cooking set( knifes and stuff like that) and cloths. Ohh and i still need to get little things like pens and maybe a note book or two. Ill be gone the week before i star school so everything and i do mean everything must be done before that...
Well now thats out of my system Im going to watch The Lorax
Byee
~Cassidy Night
I hope my first day goes well.
Gosh i have alot of things to do before i got to school... I have driving lessons to finish, i have cleaning to do (my room= total mess) and i still have to get my cooking set( knifes and stuff like that) and cloths. Ohh and i still need to get little things like pens and maybe a note book or two. Ill be gone the week before i star school so everything and i do mean everything must be done before that...
Well now thats out of my system Im going to watch The Lorax
Byee
~Cassidy Night
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