Yes i graduated but does that mean i need to know what i want to do with my life? I dont think so.. but everybody else thinks i do. Where i live we graduate high school at the age of 17. Its been a year since then but still... im only 18 i have my whole life ahead of me.
I dont know what i want to be when im older .. and i dont know what im looking for in a guy i just plainly dont know what im doing at this point in my life and im kinda okay with that for now..I know eventually i will find my "calling" and people need to stop trying to force me to find my path now. For now i just need to try to try new things.
Im not the type of girl who goes out on a whim and does something. I honestly dont think ill ever be that way .And i also dont think ill be that person who wants to settle down before i even live my life. I know people who want to be like that. And They all look at me like i should be finding a guy to be with. But honestly how am i supose to do that? i dont know what im actually interested in. I dont even know who i am.
Ive dated and wanted to be with people but they never really worked out in my mind im kinda not ready for that kind of umm distraction? in my life.
Im just tired of all these expectations . Im tired of what people think i should live my life.Im only 18 .When im ready ill find the guy but thats only gonna be after get my life in order. First step is to get my first day of culinary school over with and then maybe after those 15 months i might go college then hopfully i can get somewhere in life.
I said alot of "even" in this blog. Anyways time to start finding my own life
Goodnight :)
~Cassidy Night
Monday, August 13, 2012
Friday, August 10, 2012
2 Weeks and 4 Days
I should really start to write about other things other then my stress about going to school but the problem is i cant think about anything else . thats the only thing thats constant in my head...Maybe when i actually start school other things will pop into my head but for now im stuck with only talking about school.....
I hope my first day goes well.
Gosh i have alot of things to do before i got to school... I have driving lessons to finish, i have cleaning to do (my room= total mess) and i still have to get my cooking set( knifes and stuff like that) and cloths. Ohh and i still need to get little things like pens and maybe a note book or two. Ill be gone the week before i star school so everything and i do mean everything must be done before that...
Well now thats out of my system Im going to watch The Lorax
Byee
~Cassidy Night
I hope my first day goes well.
Gosh i have alot of things to do before i got to school... I have driving lessons to finish, i have cleaning to do (my room= total mess) and i still have to get my cooking set( knifes and stuff like that) and cloths. Ohh and i still need to get little things like pens and maybe a note book or two. Ill be gone the week before i star school so everything and i do mean everything must be done before that...
Well now thats out of my system Im going to watch The Lorax
Byee
~Cassidy Night
Thursday, August 9, 2012
19 More Days.
I dont willingly accept change and right now.. its being forced on me. My cousin says shes so proud and excited for me but i just dont know what to think. My emotions confuse me to much, Urgh i wish i could just shut them off some times...
I have realized that i am truly a Cancer, (my emotions rule me, i dont like change and i am very mothering... etc) And i just dont really want to admit it to the people im close to. Id rather be the strong hearted person, where nothing can phase me, But sadly i am not. Argh! I just wiish this madness inside me would end!
Some days i am excited for this new change, for the new experience and the possibilities that come with it. And then other days im scared "shitless" of whats to come.
At least i have 18 more days to deal with this emotional war inside me and if i cant im going to have to bottle them up, Well at least while im in the "kitchen".
Dont need to have a break down while at school , now do i?
At least i can have a mini vacation before i even start school. Cant wait till i go visit my friends for a week..... Hmmm maybe then i can sort out my feelings
Good night..Off to bed i go.
~Cassidy Night
I have realized that i am truly a Cancer, (my emotions rule me, i dont like change and i am very mothering... etc) And i just dont really want to admit it to the people im close to. Id rather be the strong hearted person, where nothing can phase me, But sadly i am not. Argh! I just wiish this madness inside me would end!
Some days i am excited for this new change, for the new experience and the possibilities that come with it. And then other days im scared "shitless" of whats to come.
At least i have 18 more days to deal with this emotional war inside me and if i cant im going to have to bottle them up, Well at least while im in the "kitchen".
Dont need to have a break down while at school , now do i?
At least i can have a mini vacation before i even start school. Cant wait till i go visit my friends for a week..... Hmmm maybe then i can sort out my feelings
Good night..Off to bed i go.
~Cassidy Night
Thursday, August 2, 2012
26 Days Left
So My over thinking ways have been keeping me up at night
Can anyone answer me this.. Why does going to a new school freak me out so much?
Right now its 3:00am And what am i doing? Writing a blog....and Not sleeping.
Every time i close my eyes to try to sleep i keep over thinking everything. Should i name one thing?Yahh i think so...Okay so im freaking out about doors... Yes doors you read that right...Im actually freaking out about what door i should go threw on my first day of school... How sad am i?
But i guess the biggest thing on my mind tonight is meeting new people and making friends.. I dont know if i can. Im a really shy person and ive been out of school for almost a year, i haven't really interacted with a lot of people since high school and Im actually pretty scared that im going to be the loner in my school.. and that im going to scare off people by not talking at all.
You know something i just wish i was the out going kind of girl who talks freely to everyone, the person whos not scared of having alittle attention on herself. But thats not me , So i just gotto work threw that issue and hope for the best.
So im gonna end this little blog post here and maybe pop in the movie Tangled and hope it will relax me enough so i can fall asleep. I really need some sleep!
Good Night :)
~Cassidy Night.
Can anyone answer me this.. Why does going to a new school freak me out so much?
Right now its 3:00am And what am i doing? Writing a blog....and Not sleeping.
Every time i close my eyes to try to sleep i keep over thinking everything. Should i name one thing?Yahh i think so...Okay so im freaking out about doors... Yes doors you read that right...Im actually freaking out about what door i should go threw on my first day of school... How sad am i?
But i guess the biggest thing on my mind tonight is meeting new people and making friends.. I dont know if i can. Im a really shy person and ive been out of school for almost a year, i haven't really interacted with a lot of people since high school and Im actually pretty scared that im going to be the loner in my school.. and that im going to scare off people by not talking at all.
You know something i just wish i was the out going kind of girl who talks freely to everyone, the person whos not scared of having alittle attention on herself. But thats not me , So i just gotto work threw that issue and hope for the best.
So im gonna end this little blog post here and maybe pop in the movie Tangled and hope it will relax me enough so i can fall asleep. I really need some sleep!
Good Night :)
~Cassidy Night.
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